SocialOlogy: Volume 5: We Have a Winner!

For the first time, I find myself sitting and thinking in depth as I begrudgingly dread the looming sportsball season. You see, dear reader, many of us, and I, are what is widely known as a “football widow”. This is the phenomenon that happens every year when football season rolls around. (Actually, it can happen during any major sports season; I am just lucky enough that in my life it is only to the NFL.) What it entails is basically everything is normal in your relationship; you go to nice dinners, have great conversations, and just generally enjoy each other’s company, even after many years of partnership. Then that first game comes on and…poof! Your usually very attentive and present spouse/significant other is gone. For months, the only thing they think about is their team. Seemingly normal people become a different version of themselves, and this one has only one goal: that their team wins. For a few months a year, this “team” that they love so much almost becomes part of the family. They obsess about scores, get cranky when they lose, and want you to celebrate with them if they win.

Sportsball of all sorts is part of the American way. We love picking a team and rooting for them, no matter what. Win or lose, we are on their side. They are our TEAM! We yell at the screen as we watch a game, giving them advice and showing support, as if they can hear us. Some wear their “lucky” jersey to give one team an edge over the others, or even paint our bodies in team colors to show our team spirit to get them to the goal. Millions of dollars are spent (and lost) every year on people betting on the teams to win. Sports stars are treated as heroes for no other reason than that they are really good at what they do, and everyone feels like they had a part in helping them get there.

As I was overanalyzing this life, I inevitably reached an unexpected conclusion. Yes, it happens for things like football, basketball, baseball, even soccer…but it’s pretty common elsewhere as well. Shows like Survivor, American Idol, America’s Got Talent, etc. give us non-sports fans a chance to cheer for our favorites as well. Millions of people gather every year during award season to watch actors receive trophies. There is actually no difference between me sitting down early to watch the red carpet than there is if my husband makes a point to watch the pre-game show. We each have our own “teams” to root for. I know that when The Masked Singer comes on, I pick my favorite in the first episode, eat popcorn, and sit on the edge of my seat the rest of the season to see if they win. When I was a child, my mom and I would pick the Miss America contestant we thought would take home the crown and bet a quarter on whose choice would win. (My mom somehow always had the winning pick. I was just happy to be allowed to stay up so late.) And when we pick our team or player, and they win, it makes us feel as if we were part of it, because we were behind them, supporting them as they went all the way. We live vicariously through their wins and losses as if they were our own.

Competition is in our nature. We watch game shows, always trying to prove to ourselves that we would have chosen a better answer than the person on the screen. We play board games with our family, and someone is always throwing a fit when they lose. We gamble in card games, often losing our shirts. Anything that we can do to compete. Always looking for a “win” of any sort.  

You always hear someone explain a friend’s poor behavior with “sorry, they really hate to lose”, but honestly, do any of us LIKE to lose? Riots break out, tables are flipped, friendships are broken; all over something that is essentially… just a game. All because not a single one of us can handle the fact that, even in the smallest of ways, sometimes we fail.

Is it all because so many of us are taught, from the moment we could first start walking, that winning is the only option? Failure will not be tolerated! Get good grades, go to a good college, marry a “proper” spouse, and have a normal life. This is what we are taught to do to “win” at life.