English 
Pulse Ten Years Later: Pain and Progress
Photo Credit: Mike Synan
My photographer and I walked into a non-descript Orlando warehouse, owned by the city of Orlando, but in a location kept secret to protect what is inside. My heart was already heavy. Almost ten years later, Pulse is still a sore spot for me. No loved one of mine was killed. I am not a part of the LGBTQ+ community in Orlando. I had never even been inside of the nightclub that was shot up, killing 49 treasured souls on that night of June 12, 2016.
It’s still painful. Painful to think that beloved members of my community were attacked for who they were. Painful that it was the worst terror attack on US soil since 9/11. Painful that the killer talked about his pledged support for ISIS while taunting Orlando police as people lay inside the club dying or already dead. Ten years later, plans to remember the tragedy forever are almost in full focus.
Inside the warehouse were lots of crates. The actual Pulse sign sat in the largest of them. The promise is that it will return to the memorial. Inside boxes were letters and cards, many sent from children. Orlando Chief of Staff Heather Fagan walked me around the large warehouse, talking about the impact that followed in the aftermath of the tragedy.
“We knew that this was a global impact, but to be reminded of just how far, how deep, and how broadly people were impacted. From little kids to seniors at a nursing home, to people from New Zealand to Prince William and Princess Kate.”
For Fagan, the cuts don’t run as deep. Spearheading the effort to build the Pulse memorial, and of course, the long days and nights dealing with the media in the aftermath of the tragedy made her able to compartmentalize the trauma. “You don’t fully process all of that” she told me, adding that it helped not having to spend those first few days with the families of the victims.
She and I spent the week after the attack in the blazing Florida sun with feels like temperatures exceeding 100 degrees every day. It was a higher than normal drought year, and exhaustion from news coverage and trying to make sense of what happened drained the energy from not just my body, but also my heart. Fagan chose to look at how the city rallied.
“You got to see the silver lining, the community and how people came out. Everyone was talking about blood donations, but people were showing up with food and water, and just thousand of people at memorials. So to see how much people cared, I think it helped us keep going for day after day.”
I watched very little of the coverage of the taking down of the Pulse sign, a landmark that will be brought back, and prominently featured at the memorial. For Fagan, it helped. “I saw it a little bit as healing” she said, asking me not to make her overly emotional. “The only way to get there was to take down the building and move the sign. I saw it as hopeful”
Her focus, and that of the city of Orlando now turns to the memorial itself. Something Fagan promised to me, and the entire world. “We will start construction later this year. The funding is there. It’s done.” The designer told the Orlando City Council on the Monday before the ten-year anniversary that they are all set to begin construction in September. While there was never going to be consensus across the spectrum on what to do at the site, there is mostly agreement and designs up to 60 percent of the memorial have been approved by both the city and the committee tasked with bringing it to fruition.
There will be columns for each of what the city calls “angels”, those that lost their lives on June 12, 2016. One victim will be on each side of the columns with space for seating in between so that each person can be remembered by those that come to mourn. A fountain wall and reflection pool will greet visitors as they enter the space.
Some of the original Pulse nightclub will remain, even though the building no longer exists. Great pains were taken to preserve the dance floor of Pulse. It will be underneath the reflection pool. In what may be considered controversial, parts of the breach wall will be salvaged and placed at the foot of the obelisk. This is where Orlando Police bashed in the wall to enter the club and kill the terrorist who attacked Pulse. Some of what filled Orlando’s warehouse will also make its way to the memorial, things like portions of the original bar, and the chandelier that was so familiar to Pulse patrons. The city plans to complete construction in 2027.
Orlando Mayor Buddy Dyer has tried to be sensitive to what Pulse means to the Orlando community. “We understand that this is not closure for such an unimaginable loss, but we hope this memorial becomes a sacred space for healing and reflection.” The city has gone to great length to keep the process of designing the Pulse memorial in the public eye, and they invite you to see the current status of the plans as they move towards completion and construction gets ready to begin at https://www.pulseorlando.org/Memorial/Memorial-Process/Design-Concept
I am likely to watch some coverage of the tenth anniversary of the terror attack on Pulse, but you are not likely to see me at First United Methodist Church on Friday June 12, 2026. I’ve only been to the Pulse site twice since that terrible day. Some things for me are left in silence and quiet contemplation.
Mike Synan
News | Sports | Politics
- After two decades in news and politics, Mike Synan is returning to his roots to write Sports as “The Sportsaholic”. Mike hosted a talk show for 6 years on WDBO after Magic home games called “Magic Til Midnight”, and spent years working as an in-game correspondent for both ESPN and Fox Sports Radio. His column “Synan Says” has appeared on both www.wdbo.com and www.floridadaily.com. He has a BS in Political Science from Clemson University. You can reach him at msynan@sportsmail.com
