English 
Social-Ology by Jodi Renee Thomas
Volume One: Introductions
I was desperate for a “hook” to begin this column; how to introduce myself and earn the trust of my readers. And found it in the most unexpected of places. I was on the phone with my older brother, and his son had just gone through his first break-up. Trying to be the “cool aunt,” I asked him questions like “Well, was she a bad kisser?” which prompted the indignant response, “Aunt Jodi, I am only 13.” That kind of surprised me. Which followed with, “I don’t know, because she was my first kiss.” I won’t go into details about my misspent youth, but it did make me think… no matter what age… we ALL remember our first kiss.
So I started doing some research. I called up friends asking about their first kiss. The stories made me laugh and happy-cry; everyone went back to a part of their childhood, most remembering the first AND last name of the person, with a little bit of wistfulness in their voice. I even called my husband, who was up at the bar watching sportsball. We had never discussed this before, so when I asked, he regaled the story to me with joy in his voice, ignoring the game. Before I knew it, he explained to his bar friends what the conversation was about, and everyone had a story for me. His phone was passed around more than a joint at a Snoop Dog/Willie Nelson concert. I even asked my buddy at the convenience store when I went up for essentials. And teared up when he looked away in the pleasant memory. Everyone I knew had one thing in common. A memory that will always be there and make us smile.
The experiment really made me think. No matter how many differences we have, we have as many similarities; so perhaps we should start focusing on those. That is what I hope to do here in this column, SocialOlogy.
Social interactions come in all different shapes and sizes. Even the biggest introvert has to be in contact with others daily, whether we like it or not. Personally, I barely leave my comfy office with my 3-lb dog or change out of my pajamas unless I have to. We all have a persona (or 12) we put on, depending on who we are with and where we are.
Conversations with my husband differ greatly from those I have with my best friend of over 30 years. My interactions with my boss are different than those with my buddy Al, who runs the convenience store around the corner from my house. The things I discuss with my daughter are quite different than what I admit to Ms. Gail, my kindergarten teacher turned touchstone in adulthood. I adore the guy who comes once a week to clean my pool; it is usually just a wave while I try to stop my chihuahua from biting him before locking myself back in my office. Though maybe that’s because I once overheard him tell his co-worker I was his favorite customer. ”Not many older women can pull off everyday pajamas like that.” (Bless ‘em.) With all of them, I am the same Jodi, just with slight adjustments to which side of the dodecahedron they see.
This is the kind of stuff we will be discussing here in this SocialOlogy column. My name is Jodi Renee Thomas, and I will be your guide should you choose to join the ride. I am not a doctor, or anyone with real answers; just a woman with a lot of life experience and a head full of opinions.
I don’t know about you, but I find the diversion and separation around us lately overwhelming. We are all focusing on “I will only like those that think/look/feel exactly like I do.” We are more similar than we know, or sometimes care to admit. We all want love, respect, and that joy that comes with being surrounded by a group of people that we care about. Each one of us yearns to feel special, wanted, important. Even if it’s just to a chosen few. We all struggle with loss, stress, illness, and the other boulders daily put on our shoulders to carry up the hill. This may be our first introduction, but trust me, it is a lot easier to get up there with a few people (even strangers) there to help you to eliminate the stress and guide you to the next step. And you’d be surprised where you find those helpers. One of my dear friends, I met at a very long layover in an airport bar. We were both exhausted and made conversation. My husband was an old acquaintance who responded to my call for help when I was a desperate single woman of a certain age, begging for a date for a wedding. So when things get dark, if nothing else, consider me here, hands outstretched and begging you to hold on. Essentially, we are all tied together as humans in a sometimes isolated world. So let’s focus on that, instead of our differences.
Before I conclude Volume 1 of SocialOlogy, I would like to teach you something I learned recently. A while ago, I ran across a meme that read something to the effect of “I don’t care who you are, if a toddler hands you a pretend phone call, you will answer it.” It still makes me smile, because it’s true. The situation was made clear to me recently while sitting at JFK Airport. A child toddled over towards me, and all I could do was try to make him smile. Once he was done with me, he stumbled over to others, who returned the same response. It is one of the few things in my life that I have never seen proven wrong. Well, that and the fact that people make the same faces while playing air hockey as they do during sex, but that’s a story for another day.
So, if you ever find yourself in an uncomfortable situation with someone that you might not agree with…change the subject and ask them about their first kiss. It may just remind you both that you aren’t as different as you think. Finding those that help us feel that way is the search of a lifetime.
Welcome to SocialOlogy. I am Jodi Renee Thomas. Even if we don’t always agree, I would like to be someone that you eventually consider a friend. We may have differing opinions, but I think we can find common ground. Hopefully, at least once a month, we can get through this entire thing called life together
Be Kind,
JRT
